Ephesians 4:30–32
30Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
Focused Thinking: (Eph 4:30–31)
What grieves the Holy Spirit?
Speaking lies instead of truth grieves the Holy Spirit.
Sinning in your anger grieves the Holy Spirit.
Stealing instead of working grieves the Holy Spirit.
Greed instead of generosity grieves the Holy Spirit.
Ugly words instead of kind words grieves the Holy Spirit.
Why do these things grieve the Holy Spirit?
These actions aren’t from the Holy Spirit.
These actions aren’t consistent with the Holy Spirit.
These actions represent the deeds of the flesh instead of the fruits of the Spirit.
These actions are the exact opposite of the Spirit of God.
The Spirit of God is the Spirit of Truth.
These actions are not from the Spirit of Truth; they are from the spirit of sin.
What else isn’t from the Spirit of God?
Bitterness (poison) isn’t from the Holy Spirit.
Wrath (rage/outbursts of anger) isn’t from the Holy Spirit.
Anger (settled feeling of anger) isn’t from the Holy Spirit.
Clamor (shouting) isn’t from the Holy Spirit.
Slander (blasphemy) isn’t from the Holy Spirit.
Malice (ill-will, wickedness) isn’t from the Holy Spirit.
Would any of these qualities exist if we were angry but sinned not?
How do you deal with such intense feelings?
How do you deal with such intense hurt?
- Paul doesn’t say, “just cool off.”
- Paul doesn’t say, “just forget about it.”
Personal Application:
Can you forget about something that made you bitter? (wrath, anger, clamor, slander and malice)
- No way.
- I can recall hurts right now.
- I bet you can feel certain hurts right now.
Focused Thinking: (Eph 4:32)
If you can’t forget the pain, how do you deal with the pain?
32Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
WOW!-Now that requires the Holy Spirit.
It is impossible for you, apart from the Holy Spirit, to go from bitterness to kindness.
It is impossible for you, apart from the Holy Spirit, to go from wrath/rage to tender-hearted.
It is impossible for you, apart from the Holy Spirit, to go from clamor, slander and malice to forgiveness.
If that doesn’t show our need for the Holy Spirit, I don’t know what does.
- It is the power of the Holy Spirit that restrains my tongue.
- It is the power of the Holy Spirit that restrains my emotions.
- It is the power of the Holy Spirit that restrains my anger.
- It is the power of the Holy Spirit that enables me to be angry and sin not.
- It is the super-duper power of the Holy Spirit for me to be angry and to be kind to the person I’m angry at.
- It is the super-duper power of the Holy Spirit for me to be angry and to be tender-hearted to the person I’m angry at.
- It is the super-duper power of the Holy Spirit for me to be angry and to forgive the person I’m angry at.
That type of transformation is impossible in the flesh.
That type of transformation is only possible by the Spirit.
How is all of this possible?
32b…just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
When I remember my forgiveness, I’m able to forgive others.
Personal Application:
This passage spoke powerfully to me given my argumentative DNA.
- I have sinned much in this area.
- I have made many mistakes in this area.
- I have won too many arguments and lost too many friends.
- I have improved by failing forward.
- I have improved by studying conflict in the Bible.
- I have improved by normalizing conflict and decreasing the pressure.
- I have improved through mentors and teaching.
I need to ask the following questions when I’m in a difficult relationship:
How would the Holy Spirit respond right now?
How would the Holy Spirit speak to this person?
How would the Holy Spirit treat this person?
Interactive Prayer:
Father, thank you for the hard lessons You have taught me in this area. I’ve been hurt deeply but You’ve healed me and others. I’ve hurt others and if they aren’t healed completely I pray that You will heal them. Unfortunately and fortunately, I’ve been through the battles, but You have taught me truths I couldn’t learn any other way. I pray that You protect me from hurting people in the future. I pray for the fruit of the Spirit of self-control in these situations. I know I am very strong-willed and passionate, but I pray that You will give me the sensitivity to be kind, compassionate and forgiving when needed.
Father, give us the resources needed to hire an additional executive leader. I want to and need to be completely out of the disciplinary process with staff. I can’t be pastor and boss too much. It is very hard to combine those roles. Give us the perfect compliment to Jason and his strengths and weaknesses. Meet that need as soon as possible financially as well as providing the right person for the position. Father, protect the unity of the staff. The enemy is always on the prowl, attacking me, my family and my staff to disrupt the work of the church. Bind the enemy from us.
Help us create the best work environment possible. Give us the ability to create an environment that is inspirational, motivational and instructional. Give our staff the drive of the Holy Spirit to be the best pastors and leaders possible. Father, give us the ability to build strong bonds of unity. I pray that we will sharpen one another and always believe the best about one another.
Father, make Your truths be true in the marriages of our church. Make our families places of kindness, compassion and forgiveness. Please help us love those we love the most the best. Father, protect our families from anger. Father, please make us a church that strengthens the family. Give us godly people and gifted people to model the truths and to teach the truths. I pray that our church would be known for healthy families.
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