Ephesians 5:25–30
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30because we are members of His body.
Focused Thinking: (Eph 5:25–27)
What is the husband’s responsibility?
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
Love seeks the highest good of another person.
- Love is patient.
- Love is kind.
- Love is not jealous.
- Love does not brag.
- Love is not arrogant.
- Love does not act unbecomingly.
- Love does not seek its own.
- Love is not provoked.
- Love does not take into account a wrong suffered.
- Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness.
- Love rejoices with the truth.
- Love bears all things.
- Love believes all things.
- Love hopes all things.
- Love endures all things.
- Love never fails.
Personal Application:
I have to protect my family from busyness.
- I have to protect Karin from “holding the rock” too long.
Book Recommendation:
Choosing to Cheat by Andy Stanley
- We have to re-establish the Sabbath for our family.
- Review the following principles and make decisions for me, Karin and the kids.
Time and energy rules:
1. When do I need my best energy?
2. When is my best energy available to me?
3. What are my energy drains?
4. What types of people drain my energy?
5. What physical practices drain my energy?
Find the misery and make a rule:
1. Never start the day with email.
2. Plan my work and work my plan (daily/weekly “to do list”).
3. Don’t substitute a commitment with a condition.
4. Don’t compromise Karin, Mark and Annika.
5. Don’t compromise my workout schedule.
Focused Thinking: (Eph 5:25b)
What is the standard of the husband’s love?
25b…JUST AS Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.
This an impossible command unless one is walking by the Spirit and bearing the fruits of the Spirit.
Personal Application:
Sacrificial love.
How can my love be more sacrificial?
- I need to do less for others so that I can do more for my family.
- I need to be around more so that Karin doesn’t always have to be in the “get it done” mode.
Submissive love.
How can I be more submissive to Karin’s desires and needs?
- I need to ask Karin where she wishes I was more sensitive to her preferences.
Servant love.
How can I serve Karin, Mark and Annika more?
- I need to serve Karin by reducing her level of responsibility.
- I need to serve the kids by taking pressure off of Karin.
Sanctifying love.
How can my love sanctify Karin, Mark and Annkia more?
- I need to map out the Modern Day Knight book by Jan 1st, 2010.
- I need to prioritize creating a “better story” for Karin, Mark and Annika for the next eight years.
- I need to be more consistent reading a proverb a day with the kids.
- I need to be more consistent praying with Karin, Mark and Annika.
Focused Thinking: (Eph 5:26–27)
What does Christ/the husband do next?
26so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.
The purpose of Christ’s death was to make the church holy (set apart, radically different, unique).
- Salvation is pictured as being cleansed by water (Tit 3:5).
- The “word” refers to the preached word that unbelievers hear (Ro 10:8, 17; 1 Pe 1:25; Eph 6:17).
Personal Application:
How does the husband make his wife holy?
- The best way to sanctify my wife is to sanctify myself.
- I need to be a more intentional spiritual leader of our home.
Focused Thinking: (Eph 5:27–30)
What is the husband’s purpose?
27that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.
To present to Christ the church/his bride in all her glory (splendor).
To present to Christ the church/his bride without spot or winkle or any such thing, but holy and blameless.
Jesus sees beyond the sacrifice to the joy.
Jesus sees beyond the spots and winkles to the holiness.
Jesus sees our strengths, not our weaknesses.
What is one of the reasons why husbands should love their wives as their own bodies?
28So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30because we are members of His body.
Personal Application:
Any good done to my wife is good done to me.
- If her needs are met, my needs are met.
- If her needs are not met, my needs won’t be met either.
If I destroy her joy, I destroy my joy.
- If I destroy her happiness, I destroy my happiness.
“True love is the pursuit of my joy in the joy of my wife.” — John Piper
Interactive Prayer:
Father, it is time to regroup again. Karin and I have been married for fifteen years and Mark is eleven years old and Annika is nine years old. Help me re-prioritize Karin and the kids so that I can be the best husband and father possible over the next eight years. Help me create a plan and stay true to that plan. Help me say “no” to the urgent stuff so that I can say “yes” to the important stuff.
Father, help me worry and stress less over the church and do a better job of living a passionately balanced life. I know that is a contradiction, but somehow it still needs to be true. Father, Karin truly needs me to help her do less. Give us the resources we need to hire a quarter time or part time person for Women’s ministry. Help me to do the “right thing” regardless of circumstances and to cause circumstances to work around us instead of us working around the circumstances.
Father, thank you for Karin. She is truly the most loyal, faithful and dedicated person I’ve ever met. Thank you for her walk with You. Thank you for the way she spends time in the Word and for all the ways she prays for me.
Thank you for Mark and Annika having priority times. I pray that You will help them move beyond simply doing it to loving it. I pray that they would see it as time with You. I pray that You take Annika’s love for reading and that You give her a love and passion for reading the Word of God. I pray that You give her a vision to be a story writer for You. I pray for Mark to use his verbal abilities for Your glory. Take his love for people and his love to talk and use that for Your glory.
Father, I pray that You will take Karin out of the administrative role in ministry and give her the opportunity to prioritize teaching. I pray that You will give her confidence as a teacher and use her to influence and impact women. Help me to regroup and re-prioritize sacrificially loving and sanctifying my family. I only have eight short years left and I want to be wise and make the most of the time.
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