Ephesians 6:1–4
1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), 3so that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth. 4Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Focused Thinking: (Eph 6:1–3)
The chapter break here is unfortunate because this isn’t a new thought, but it is a continuation of the theme of submission in relationships.
What is the context?
I think it goes all the way back to Ephesians 5:18, “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit.”
- I need the Spirit’s leadership in my life in order to be a good parent.
- I need the Spirit’s leadership to train my children up to be disciples.
- I need the Spirit’s leadership to create an environment/home of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
What are children to do?
1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise),
A child’s obedience to his or her parents is pleasing to the Lord just as our obedience as children of God is pleasing to God the Father.
Personal Application:
I can think of nothing that brings me more personal joy than the obedience of my children.
- Nothing makes me more peaceful.
- Nothing makes me more secure.
- Nothing makes me more content.
- Nothing makes me more joyful.
This is a reoccurring theme, but I must plan out the next eight years for Mark and Annika.
I must prioritize and plan out everyday life.
- weekend life
- special events/making memories
- holidays
- a “better story”
I need to prioritize intentional great commandment/great commission teaching, opportunties and experiences.
- character development
- manhood development with Mark (Karin — womanhood with Annika)
- encouragement and affirmation
- one-on-one times
- ways to say, “I love you”, “I’m proud of you” and “You’re good at…”
I need to prioritize sharing my dreams, my desires and my doubts with Mark and Annika.
I need to prioritize making memories.
I need to prioritize manhood/womanhood ceremonies.
I need to prioritize recognizing manhood/womanhood.
3 John 1:4
I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth.
This verse doesn’t come true randomly; it comes true through the process of sowing and reaping.
Why?
…for this is right.
God designed it this way for our good and protection.
Obedience teaches children self-discipline.
- Self-discipline produces stability and longevity in one’s life.
- Undisciplined people rarely live healthy lives or long lives.
Focused Thinking: (Eph 6:4)
What is the warning/instruction to fathers?
4Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Paul addressed husbands because husbands are the head of the wife.
Paul addresses fathers because fathers are the head of the home.
God has given husbands/fathers the responsibility to be the spiritual leader of the family.
Warning-Fathers do not provoke (exasperate) your children to anger.
- Don’t give your children unreasonable demands.
- Don’t give your children petty rules.
- Don’t play favorites with your children.
- Don’t discourage your children.
Personal Application:
What are ways I provoke my children?
When Mark was younger, I did it through authority and discipline.
- Mark is the classic “strong-willed child” and I thought I’d be stronger.
- Mark and I would get into verbal arguments.
- Mark wouldn’t respond to my discipline.
- I had to quit taking Mark’s disposition (strong-willed temperment) as disrespect.
- I had to learn Mark’s personality and strengths.
I’ve never had issues with Annika.
- Annika’s personality and strengths are completely different from Mark’s.
- 90% of the time I can correct Annika verbally and all is good.
- The only time Annika is strong-willed is when she is fighting her brother.
What about today? How do I provoke my children today?
Mark is 100% socially driven.
- I worry about pushing him too much competitively.
- I worry about Mark’s work ethic, but I wonder if it is an unfair worry.
Do I worry because my work ethic and Karin’s work ethic are too strong?
Is our work ethic unachievable?
- In some respects, our expectations are too much for an eleven-year-old and a nine-year-old.
- In other respects, our expectations aren’t too much. They need to mature and develop.
I must help Mark and Annika find value in serving God according to their strengths.
What are Annika’s strengths?
- Responsibility, belief, intellection, developer and connectedness
What are Mark’s strengths?
- Woo (Winning others over), command, significance, communication and competition
Recommended Resource:
Now, Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton
WOW!-I have incredible kids that deserve my very best.
They deserve more than my best; they deserve Christ in me.
They need me to parent them according to their strengths, not their weaknesses.
They need me to see and understand the way God made them and help them maximize their divine potential.
Interactive Prayer:
Father, help me and Karin bring our children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. I pray that we will model a “better story” for them. Help us help them find their “story” according to their giftedness.
I pray that we can burn brightly for Christ in front of Mark and Annika and give them a passion to light their own fire for Christ. I pray that You will give Mark and Annika a double portion of our spirit. I pray that they will love You and serve You in ways that are exceedingly abundantly beyond all that we can ask or think. I pray that Mark and Annika will flee the desires of the world and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness.
Father, I pray that You will protect Mark and Annika from the lusts of the eyes, the lusts of the flesh and the boastful pride of life. Protect Mark and Annika from the impurities of the world. I pray that they will overcome impure desires with pure desires. I pray that Mark and Annika will be addicted to Your Word. I pray that they will hide the Word of God in their hearts so that they will not sin against Thee. I pray for us to memorize Scripture as a family. I pray that You will give Mark and Annika the ability to understand their strengths and use them to know You and serve You at an early age. I pray that they will find their identity in You.
Please give us wisdom about where to send Mark to high school. Give Mark wisdom about the role that sports play in his life. Show him and us what healthy competition is versus too much competition. Father, help me slow down our family enough to build stronger relationships with one another, friends and those who don’t know Christ.
Father, I pray that Mark and Annika will start leading their friends to Christ ASAP. I pray that they will get addicted to life-change. I pray that they will have the privilege of baptizing their friends all the way through school. Father, I pray that You will be the focus their lives. Help me and Karin make these next eight years the best and most rewarding years possible for them as teenagers.
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