Matthew 5:31–32
(Matt 19:3–9; Mk 10:11–12; Lk 16:18)
31“It was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’; 32but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Intro:
The issue of divorce and remarriage is a very important issue that deserves a positional paper for an explanation, not a priority time. I will attempt to address this issue from the context of my priority time and put it on my “to do” list to write a positional paper.
Focused Thinking:
What is the biblical and historical context of this statement:
“Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce.”
Deut 24:1–4
“When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes BECAUSE he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house, 2and she leaves his house and goes and becomes another man’s wife, 3and if the latter husband turns against her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, OR if the latter husband dies who took her to be his wife, 4then her former husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her again to be his wife, SINCE she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the LORD, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the LORD your God gives you as an inheritance.
What is the meaning of all of that?
How was a certificate of divorce defined?
What was the original purpose of a certificate of divorce?
If used properly, how did it help the man/woman?
If used improperly, how did it hurt the man/woman?
Those who followed HILLEL said it was permissible for a husband to divorce his wife for any reason.
In a culture where husbands viewed their wives as “property,” divorce was fairly easy to obtain.
Those who followed SHAMMAI said it was only permissible for a husband to divorce his wife for a major offense.
The leaders of Shammai said that divorce could be granted only in cases of adultery.
What was the definition of “indecency”?
What does it mean if the “latter husband turns against her”?
Did only the man have the right to write a certificate of divorce?
Did a woman have the right to write a man a certificate of divorce?
It appears that the woman who received the certificate of divorce was allowed to remarry.
I assume if a woman didn’t receive a certificate of divorce that she wasn’t allowed to remarry. Is that correct?
Did the ability to remarry or not depend upon who was wrong or not in the marriage?
Were there provisions for divorce like adultery and abandonment?
How does this teaching form the context for Jesus’ statement in Matthew 5:31–32?
How is Jesus interpreting Deuteronomy 24:1–4 text?
Was Jesus attacking those purposefully abused the marriage contract?
Was Jesus addressing those who used divorce to satisfy their lustful desire to marry someone else?
What is Jesus saying in this passage (Matt 5:31–32) since He is elevating the internal truths of the heart in these Scriptures?
“It was said,”
“But I say to you…”
What does the majority of God’s Scripture say about His view of marriage?
He views marriage as an indissoluble unit.
The human picture of marriage is built upon the divine picture of marriage. If our marriage relationship with God is unbreakable, then our marriage relationship with one another should be unbreakable. Just as God would never divorce us; we should never divorce one another. Our marriages should model His marriage with us; therefore, marriages should not be terminated by divorce.
God’s preference is never divorce, but sin is strong; therefore, He makes exception clauses:
Marital unfaithfulness: sexually immoral lifestyle
- Not just a confessed or repented act of adultery.
- The unfaithful should first make every effort to forgive, reconcile and restore the relationship.
- We should always look for reasons to restore the marriage relationship than for excuses to leave it.
What about this incredibly difficult statement and high standard of Matthew 5:32?
but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Jesus says marriage is a sacred union that should not be broken.
Jesus says to remarry after divorce was committing adultery.
Jesus gives one exception, marital unfaithfulness (porneia).
- A singular act of adultery.
- Unfaithfulness during the betrothal period.
- An illegitimate or incestuous marriage (man and woman were later discovered to be near relatives).
- A continued and unrepented unfaithfulness.
Any of these reasons meant that a significant betrayal already occurred in the marriage. For a man to divorce his wife for this reason was simply recognition that sexual union with another ended his union with her.
Many scholars believe if you have biblical permission for divorce then you have biblical permission for remarriage.
What was Jesus purpose behind this teaching on marriage, divorce and remarriage?
Jesus’ main point was that people should not use the divorce laws to dispose of a partner in order to get another one.
VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION—May a divorced person, who truly repents of a sinful past and commits his or her life to God, remarry?
There isn’t a specific chapter and verse that answers this question for us in a simple and straightforward way.
Here’s what we know for certain:
God has a high view of marriage.
God has a low view of divorce; in fact, God hates divorce.
What is God’s character? How does God respond to sin?
God is full of grace and truth (Jn 1:14).
God is grace upon grace (Jn 1:16).
Mercy triumphs over judgment (James 2:13).
God responds to confession (1 Jn 1:9).
God responds to repentance (2 Cor 7:10).
God responds to faith (Heb 10:19–25; 11:1; Ja 2:2–4; 2 Pt 1:5–11).
Personal Application:
What is my opinion on divorce and remarriage?
Spiritual discernment is very important here; but I believe true repentance and faith promises full forgiveness, healing and restoration.
Divorce is not the unpardonable sin; I believe repentant believers who bring fruit in keeping with repentance can remarry.
I believe in most situations it is healthy and wise to wait two years after your divorce before you start dating. 85% of second marriages end in divorce because 85% of second marriages occur within two years of the divorce. People need time to mourn, grieve and heal from the death of their previous marriage.
I need to write a positional paper on divorce and remarriage and post it on our website in order to help our people understand this issue and work through it biblically.
Interactive Prayer:
Father, help us fight for marriages proactively and reactively. Anoint Andy as he writes his book on marriage. I pray that You give him the ability to understand Your Word and Your heart on the subject. Give him a unique ability to understand it and communicate in a way that makes God make sense and makes marriage make sense. Father, give him Your favor and anoint for the purpose of helping people build holy marriages. Give us Your vision as a church for pre-marriage counseling and classes. Give us Your vision for marriage development. Give us Your vision for saving marriages from crisis. Give us Your vision for helping through divorce. Give us the ability to win the battle for marriage and family.
Fascinating and fantastic stuff. Keep it coming. I am often interested in the story